When You're Home for the Holidays Read online

  When You're Home for the Holidays

  Abby Millsaps

  Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  1. Tori

  2. Tori

  3. Tori

  4. Rhett

  5. Tori

  6. Rhett

  7. Tori

  8. Tori

  9. Rhett

  10. Rhett

  11. Tori

  12. Tori

  13. Tori

  Afterword

  More from Abby Millsaps

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2021 Abby Millsaps

  ebook ISBN: 978-1-7370947-4-6

  Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7370947-5-3

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, or any events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created by the author's imagination and are used fictitiously.

  Developmental Editing by Melanie Yu, Made Me Blush Books

  Proofreading by VB Edits

  Cover Design by Cover Couture www.bookcovercouture.com

  To everyone missing someone at the holidays—

  This story is for you.

  I hope the season lands gently.

  Chapter one

  Tori

  “Goddamn global warming.” Jake knuckled the steering wheel of his Jeep as he sat up a bit straighter in the driver’s seat.

  “Why don’t we just get off at the next rest stop and wait it out?” Fielding suggested from the second row. Tori peeked over her shoulder and smiled when she spotted Penny out of her travel crate all snuggled up in his lap. She glanced from her beloved pug mix to Fielding, a knowing smile playing across her expression.

  “What?” he questioned, sounding more defensive than he probably intended. “She was letting out sad little puppy whimpers back here. We both know she hates storms. I wasn’t going to just leave her in there.” He gave Penny a little scratch behind the ears.

  “This shit isn’t letting up anytime soon,” Jake explained as Tori righted herself in the passenger seat. She reached for her phone and opened the Weather app for the tenth time that hour. He was right—nothing but dark green thunderstorms on the radar spanning across the Midwest and the entire East Coast. So much for a white Christmas.

  She held up her phone briefly so Fielding could see the radar for himself. “It’s supposed to rain for the next thirty-six hours. This sucks,” she muttered, closing out all the apps on her phone before mindlessly clicking on the Messages app again out of habit.

  “Don’t worry, baby,” Jake tried to reassure her, addressing the fear in her heart she had yet to speak out loud. “He’ll get here.”

  She nodded solemnly. She knew Rhett would do everything in his power to make it back from Virginia. But his flight home had already been canceled, and there was just nothing else available to Ohio or Michigan. The storms had disrupted flights all over the country, and everyone was frantically trying to rebook since Christmas was just three days away.

  She couldn’t help but worry about Rhett being stranded at the airport overnight, camped out in a sky lounge or a random airport bar. Acid churned in her stomach when she thought about him being stuck, frustrated, and completely alone. The idea of him slipping hurt even more than the idea of spending their first Christmas as a married couple apart.

  She was used to being away from him, to missing him when he was gone. That was a sacrifice she made on a regular basis. What she couldn’t stand was the idea that his desperation to get home for the holidays might tempt him into making irrational or harmful decisions.

  “Hey,” Jake urged, pulling her out of her own head. “He’ll be here.” He took his eyes off the road for the briefest moment to give her a pointed look. “And if for some reason things don’t go according to plan, he will be okay. He’s doing really well, baby. He sounded good when I talked to him earlier this week.”

  Tori let her head lull back against the headrest, closing her eyes as she let his words sink in. Rhett had been sober for almost six months to the day, ever since the accident that summer. Thankfully he was alone when he’d crashed Jake’s car into the base of the train bridge in downtown Hampton. No one else had been injured, and there weren't any legal repercussions. No one even bothered to check his blood alcohol level at the hospital that night.

  “Hey, Tor? What are all these boxes back here? I can’t even recline my seat back so Princess Penny and I can get comfortable.”

  She smiled as she thought about the contents of the boxes she and Jake had carefully loaded into the back of his Jeep last night. “Those are all my mom’s Christmas decorations.”

  Fielding thumped a hand on top of a box behind him. “This is all Christmas shit?”“It’s not shit,” Tori chided. She knew he was just teasing her. But between the storms, Rhett’s canceled flight, and the anxiety about her upcoming surgery, her nerves were shot.

  “My mom loved Christmas,” she explained, softer. “It was her very favorite holiday. She always went all out, even the last year she was with us. Especially the last year. I have at least a dozen memories surrounding every single ornament and decoration in those boxes.”

  She righted herself and leaned forward to turn up the radio. When she settled back, she felt Fielding’s hand slip over the seat to squeeze her shoulder. It was a silent apology; his unspoken way of telling her he got it, no further explanation necessary.

  “Are we doing a tree?” Fielding asked, his hand still casually hanging over her seat as his fingertips grazed the shoulder of her sweater.

  “Yep. Rhett had a twelve-foot blue spruce delivered to the cabin last week. Although now that I think about it, I’m not sure we’ll have enough ornaments to totally cover it,” she mused, turning around to look past him to all the boxes stacked in the cargo area of the Jeep.

  “Tori…”

  All he said was her name, but she could tell by his tone and the excitement in his eyes that Fielding had an idea.

  “That huge Christmas store is in Michigan, isn’t it? The world’s biggest Christmas store? The ‘keep Christ in Christmas’ store we keep seeing signs for? We should go. We should totally go there. We have to go! I have to run an errand this afternoon anyway, so we’ll already be out.” Fielding was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement.

  “Easy,” Jake admonished. “It’s hard enough to focus on the road without you chirping in my ear and rocking the car back and forth.”

  Fielding wasn’t deterred by the scolding. He leaned forward in his seat to continue his campaign, just in a lower voice.

  “Tori. Seriously. Let’s go. I’ll drive. I’ll go slow in the rain, I swear.”

  She turned around to glare at him, not aware of how close his face was to her seat. She gasped when she realized they were practically nose-to-nose. “Are you really begging right now? You’re worse than Penny.”

  “Cuter though.” He scrunched up his face—and in a move that only Fielding Haas could get away with—booped her on the nose. “So what do you say, Victoria Thompson? Want to go on an adventure with me?”

  She glanced over at Jake. She wasn’t seeking his permission necessarily, just feeling him out. He must have felt her eyes on him, because he piped up without prompting.

  “I’m out, but you guys should go, and you can take the Jeep. I have to drive to the airport to get Maddie tomorrow morning, then I’ll have to drive back into Det
roit whenever Rhett finally gets a flight, so I just want to chill once we get to the cabin.”

  She felt a sharp pinch on her upper arm. She desperately wanted to smack Fielding’s hand away, but she couldn’t let Jake see her reaction. He pinched her three more times before she had a chance to wiggle out of his grasp. She knew why he was freaking out. Jake would be making an additional trip to the airport in the next few days, he just didn’t know it yet.

  She turned around again and was met with one of Fielding’s megawatt grins. “Stop,” she mouthed wordlessly. Rhett would be livid if he gave away their surprise.

  “Fine. I’ll go to the world’s biggest Christmas store with you,” she replied out loud.

  “Perfect. Let me check their hours…” Fielding muttered, phone already in hand. “Oh, nice. They’re open until nine pm tonight, so we’ll have plenty of time to do my curbside pickup then make it up that way.”

  Tori craned her neck further to watch him twiddle on his phone. “What sort of curbside pickup are we doing? I think Judy already has groceries at the house.”

  He lifted his head and smirked. “Tori. Did you really think I was coming up to Michigan and not stopping by my favorite dispensary? Please. It’s like you don’t even know me.”

  She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Sometimes it was too easy to forget that Fielding Haas was a rich prick trust fund fuckboy with a penchant for booze, weed, and women. Of course he’d already placed a curbside pickup order at a marijuana dispensary.

  “Hey,” he murmured just above a whisper. “I can pick up my order later if you’re not cool with that. World’s biggest Christmas store with you is my number one priority now.”

  “You know I don’t mind. I’d rather go now before Rhett gets home anyway.”

  It was a new unspoken rule that they didn’t drink or indulge in any recreational drugs around her husband. That wasn’t a problem for Tori—she had never been much of a drinker aside from some underage dalliances in high school. But she appreciated that Jake and Fielding reined it in without her having to ask.

  “Let’s go on an adventure,” she confidently declared.

  Chapter two

  Tori

  Fielding stood in front of a life-size manger, staring at a sign overhead, mouth agape. “Wait. Have I been saying it wrong my whole life? Christ-mas. Christtttt-mas. It’s freakin’ CHRIST-mas? Jesus Christ…”

  He was high. Really, really high. Maybe stopping at the dispensary before visiting the world’s biggest Christmas store hadn’t been the best idea after all.

  By the time they arrived at their destination, the rain had slowed to a drizzle. They were less than half an hour from the cabin, so Tori offered to drive home since Fielding seemed eager to sample his curbside goodies. He said he was only going to take half a gummy. She had no context for dosing on pot gummies, and she hadn’t been concerned enough to text Jake to ask. Now she knew what half a gummy looked like for Fielding Haas.

  “Tori! Look at this one!” He disappeared down an aisle labeled “dogs.” She had no idea what that meant… dog-themed ornaments? Holiday decorations for dogs? The store seemed to have everything, but trying to take it all in was overwhelming. Every aisle was buzzing, filled with shoppers of all ages. Christmas music played loudly over the speakers, and either twinkle lights or fake snow adorned every surface. The place smelled like sweet Christmas spices, and a little bit like sweat, too.

  She maneuvered her already-full cart around an older couple in pursuit of Fielding. She had found an amazing selection of filler ornaments for the tree, along with a sturdy storage container she could leave up at the cabin for all their future Christmases.

  For as unsure as she had been about this little adventure, she was glad Fielding had insisted on it. Now she just needed to find him so they could go home.

  “Field?” she called out when she turned the corner and didn’t see him right away. He must have already moved on to the next aisle. This was like chasing a kid through a candy store. A very excited, very attractive, very stoned kid. At least he was tall enough he was easy to pick out of a crowd.

  “Field! Slow down!” she hollered as she caught a glimpse of the top of his blond curly hair in the next aisle. They were deep into the store now, and everything was starting to look the same.

  She was about to whip her cart into the next row when a little girl with a huge red bow secured to her hair toddled in front of her. Thankfully Tori didn’t have much momentum going because of the weight of her cart. She was able to stop quickly as the mother of the toddler apologized.

  “No worries,” she murmured, coming to a full stop to let them pass. She glanced to her left and practically did a doubletake.

  Right there. On the endcap. Was she really seeing what she thought she was seeing? She didn’t even know they made them anymore. And she had almost rushed right past them.

  A large display of brightly-colored ornaments hung side by side, shining under the fluorescent lights, with a big sign overhead displaying all the customization options. These weren’t just any ornaments, though. They were the ornaments. The ornaments from her childhood. The ornaments she so desperately wished she could ask her mom about. She had wondered for years about where these ornaments came from. And here they were. Just hanging on an endcap at the world’s largest Christmas store, less than thirty minutes from her cabin.

  The bulbs glistened and reflected her open-mouthed expression back to her as clearly as a mirror. They were a traditional ornament, no frills to them really, but they were priceless in her mind because of the memories they held.

  She reached out one hand and gingerly skimmed the smooth surface of a royal blue bulb as a shadow blocked out the overhead fluorescent lights.

  "What’d ya find?” Fielding asked louder than necessary, bouncing up and down on his toes and crowding her space. He was wearing a Santa hat now, and he had a ridiculous string of oversized light up ornaments hanging from his neck. He had somehow transformed into a Christmas elf in the two minutes since she had seen him last.

  “These ornaments… these are the same ones my mom had personalized for us when I was little. I’ve been looking for these for years. I can’t believe they’re right here.” She glanced from the display to Fielding, then back again, almost as if confirming he could see them, too, and this was really happening.

  She bit down on her bottom lip to keep her emotions in check. So many of her thoughts about her mom had to do with cancer; with genetic testing, with risk-reducing surgeries, with drastic measures and anticipatory grief. She felt a surge of warmth through her whole body as she basked in this totally unadulterated holiday memory of her mom.

  “Tori,” Fielding murmured in reverence, his hazy eyes opening as much as possible. Even in his inebriated state, he understood this was something special.

  “I want to get them for all of us. I want to have our names on them, just like my mom did. I always wanted Rhett to have one when we were growing up…” she whispered in wonder. She swallowed past the lump that formed when she thought about her husband. She knew he was doing everything he could to get to her. She just hoped it would be enough.

  “What colors do you want?” Fielding asked, stepping in front of the display to stand by her side.

  “I want purple—I have a purple one at my dad’s house, but I didn’t bring it with me since it goes with the set with my parents’ names on them. Let’s get pink for Maddie… Silver for Jake… Gold for Rhett.” She ticked off each person as he added the ornaments to the cart. “Then you can pick your own. Which color do you want, Fielding?”

  His hand hovered over the display, his hazy eyes glancing down to meet her gaze. “I get one too?”

  “We’re spending Christmas together. We’re making new memories, starting traditions. After everything we’ve been through this year…” She felt a tear threaten to spill over as she recalled all the ways the man before her had showed up for her over the last several months. “You’re one of my closest friends
. One of my best friends. Of course you get one, too.”

  Heat rose in her cheeks with her confession. Her friendship with Fielding had been founded on banter, jokes, and flirty comments. But he also possessed an intimate knowledge of her darkest secrets, her deepest struggles. He really was one of her best friends: someone she trusted explicitly. Someone who saw her and knew her for who she was as an individual.

  “I’ll take red,” he decided, plucking a crimson bulb from the display. “What now?”

  “I want them personalized. The ones we had growing up had our names on them in the prettiest cursive. Let’s go ask how long it takes. Hopefully they have time to do them…”

  “We can always come back and pick them up tomorrow,” he suggested as she wheeled the cart toward the customer service counter. He bumped her hip and took over cart duty as she entered the stanchion line.

  “Next!”

  Tori stepped up to the counter, leaving Fielding in line with the cart.

  “Hi. I wanted to see about getting these five ornaments personalized…”

  “Honey, don’t tell me you’re standing at this counter trying to get ornaments personalized for this Christmas,” the woman remarked without looking up from the paper in front of her. “The deadline was more than a month ago.”

  It felt like all the air had been punched out of her. “Oh,” Tori mumbled, unsure how to even respond. “I didn’t realize…”

  The middle-aged woman snapped her head up. “You didn’t realize that the world’s biggest Christmas store would also be the world’s busiest Christmas store? You thought you could get some ornaments personalized three days before December twenty-fifth? I have a team working twenty-four hours a day in the back, and we still might not meet our deadline. I’m sorry, honey, but unless you want to preorder for next year…”